Wedding Etiquette Tip #5 – Tipping Your Wedding Vendors

Tipping your wedding vendors is something brides have a lot of questions about. Which vendors should I tip? How much should I tip them? When do I tip them? Which ones should I not tip, and which ones will expect a tip? These are many of the questions asked concerning this subject. Tipping is mainly voluntary, and should be based on the quality of service given. However in the wedding world, some vendors expect a tip. It is important to know the proper etiquette for tipping your wedding vendors. Follow the basic guideline below to learn what you should or shouldn’t do, concerning wedding gratuities.

Vendor	Gratuity: YES/NO/OPTIONAL	How Much?	Reason
Hairstylist & Makeup Artist	YES	10% – 15%	Exception: If they come to your location they have probably already figured in a traveling & gratuity fee, so tip is not necessary
Ceremony Officiant	NO – But……..		Can make a donation to the church/synagogue and/or send gift certificate to nice restaurant
Ceremony Musicians	OPTIONAL	$5 - $10hr per person	Check to see if their fee is covered in the venue fee, but especially consider tipping if they are traveling to your location. Base it upon their performance
Caterer	NO		Gratuities for waiters/waitresses are already added to your bill
Cake Baker	NO		Unless you want to tip delivery staff for delivering your cake on time,  then it is not neccessary
Reception DJ	YES	$50 - $100	Serves as MC for your wedding, and keeps the party going! They earn it!
Reception Band	OPTIONAL	$20-$25 per band member	Consider the quality of their performance and you be the judge
Bartenders	YES	10% of total liquor bill	Shared between each bartender
Photographer/Videographer	NO		Unless they’ve gone above and beyond and thrown in extras in your package
Florist	NO		Unless you want to tip the delivery worker ($10-$20)
Wedding Planner	OPTIONAL	10% of their bill	If he/she has gone above and beyond, and you are very pleased with their work it’s nice to show your appreciation with a tip
Wedding Transportation	YES	10% – 15% of the limousine bill	First check to make sure the gratuity hasn’t already been added to the bill

Unless there is a “Yes” in the gratuity option column, the rest of the vendors do not expect a tip. As mentioned earlier, tipping is a voluntary service and you should be the personal judge for when and how much in such cases. If the wedding vendor has gone above and beyond your expectations and your chosen package, then consider tipping as a form of gratitude. The best way to handle the gratuities is to individually label them in envelopes and designate someone you trust to hand these out for you at the end of the wedding night. Normally the best man, father of the bride, or wedding planner will gladly take charge of passing out gratuities. Remember also, it is proper etiquette to send ALL of your wedding vendors a “Thank You” card after the wedding is over. Unless you were very dissatisfied with their services, a thank you card is very much appreciated. They are also able to use them to book future clients.

Wedding Etiquette Tip # 4 - Reception Seating Plans

The dreaded seating chart arrangements:

Many brides dread making the seating chart. However, with a little etiquette know-how and some organizational skills, the seating chart is a breeze. Follow these etiquette guidelines below to help guide you through all the reception seating arrangements.

***We highly recommend assigning guests to specific tables for any wedding with a guest count of 100 or more that will serve a sit down reception meal. However, please keep in mind  guest will want to mingle after the meal. ***

When a seating chart is recommended:

Bride & Groom:

*        Sweetheart Table – A table set aside for just the bride and groom, groom sits to right of bride.

*         Head Table – Usually includes the bride, groom, and bridal party

*        Another option is to leave a few empty seats at each table so the bride and groom may mingle at each table throughout the reception

Parents of Bride and Groom:

*        May sit at the same table opposite each other, with grandparents, officiant, and other close friends

*        Each set of parents may host their own table and include their relatives and close friends

NOTE: It s a good idea for divorced parents to host their own tables individually, and include their relatives and close friends at their tables.

Guests:

*        Seat friends together and mix in a few new faces. Make sure everyone knows someone at each table

*        Guests who do not know anyone, seat them with others that share similar interests and are close in age

*        Do not sit singles at a table full of couples; however it is also wise to not set aside a singles table (this may embarrass your single friends). To resolve this, mix singles and couples together at a table.

*        Do not seat ex partners together, unless they are on good terms and say it’s ok

*        Seat children at their own table, unless the only children are the flower girl and ring bearer. In this case, sit them with their parents

*        To keep from having a left overs table (all the guest who wouldn’t fit at other tables) make sure to distribute them evenly at all tables

*        Place elderly guests and pregnant women near bathroom facilities, and make sure to not place them at the tables that will be removed to make space after the meal

WORTH NOTING: Make sure if any of the guests are giving speeches or announcements, do not seat them where their back is to anyone!

Make sure you’ve included a plan for guiding all of your guests to their seats. This is usually in the form of escort and place cards. You may get as creative or simple as you like with this idea. See the list below for a few ideas. Remember: Escort cards are for guiding guests to their assigned table, and place cards are to inform them of their exact seat at the assigned table.

Escort Card Ideas:

*        Double your escort cards as your wedding favors – Just add a tag with the guests name and table number to any of your wedding favors  (fruit, candy, small toys, small plants, etc…)

*        For smaller weddings, Polaroid pictures of each of your guests is a creative idea for escort cards. Use the space at the bottom to write their name and table number

*        Candles – Great for evening weddings! Have them lit right before your guests arrive, and this will help guide them to their seats. Also, creates a dramatic look at the tables with each guest having their own lit candle.

*        Peg board – Attach all your escort cards to a Velcro board and have your guests peel them off as they arrive

*        Are you a wino? Take wine corks, slice them down the middle, and put a card with the guests name on the plate settings

*        Have a champagne glass at each seat, place the name of the guest on a tag and slide inside of glass. Guests can easily and elegantly find their assigned seats

Wedding Etiquette Tip #3 - Bridal Party Roles and Responsibilities

First and foremost, it is an honor to be chosen as part of the bridal party in a wedding. As the bride/groom's supporting cast, each member is carefully chosen to help create a perfect wedding day. Each member of the bridal party has their own responsibilities and duties that go along with being involved with the wedding.

Maid of Honor Duties:

The maid of honor is by far the most demanding role to play in the wedding, besides the bride herself. She is the bride's go to for all her wedding needs. The best friend or closest relative to the bride is normally the one chosen as the maid of honor.

QUICK NOTE: She is named matron of honor only if she is already married. Otherwise, she is the maid of honor.

• Pays for her own wedding attire
• Carries the groom's ring
• Hosts the bridal shower and bachelorette party
• Signs the marriage certificate as a witness
• Helps dress the bride
• Holds the bridal bouquet during the ceremony
• Supervises the bridesmaids
• Gathers the single women for the bouquet toss
• Returns the bride's clothes home after the reception
• Toasts the bride & groom at the reception
• Dances with the best man at the reception

Bridesmaids Duties:

The bridesmaids duties are delegated to them by the maid of honor and consist of the following:

• Pay for their own wedding attire
• Attend all pre-wedding parties
• Share the cost of the bridal shower with the maid of honor
• Help assemble favors
• Assist the maid of honor when needed
• Dance with the groomsmen at the reception

Best Man Duties:

The best man is in charge of looking after the needs of the groom. He is the groom's right hand man, and also serves as the responsible party for any important documents and other items.

• Pays for his own wedding attire
• Plans and hosts the bachelor party
• Attends all appropriate pre-wedding parties
• Helps the groom dress and arrive to the ceremony on time
• Holds the bride's ring at the ceremony
• Signs the marriage license as a witness
• Helps host the reception
• Dances with the bridesmaids at the reception
• All honeymoon tickets, documents, and other important items are kept in his safekeeping

Groomsmen Duties:

The groomsmen help the best man organize the parties and ensure the wedding runs smoothly. They serve as the groom's bodyguards.

• Pay for their own wedding attire
• Help plan and share the cost of the bachelor party with the best man
• Responsible for returning any rented attire
• Dance with the bridesmaids at the reception

Wedding Etiquette Tip #2 - Who Pays for What?

It's 2011, and financial wedding trends have changed quite a bit from 20 years ago. It used to be that the Bride's family would pay for just about everything to do with the wedding, minus the rehearsal dinner that the Groom's parents would pick up. It is very common now to see the Bride and Groom paying for the majority of the wedding themselves, and both sides of the family may contribute an equal smaller amount. In fact, almost one-third of couples are paying for their own weddings now. What is the reason?

• Couples are marrying older (average age is between 27-29)
• Couples may already be established in their careers/jobs and are financially stable
• An increase in 2nd marriages, which encourages alternate wedding payment plans
• Multiple sets of parents, so couples want to make it easier and keep the wedding planning decision making mainly to themselves

So what's the financial breakdown for this day in age? I have put together a new traditional list below for an easy reference guide:

The Bride and her family

• Groom's wedding ring
• Groom's wedding gift
• Bridesmaids gifts
• Wedding dress & accessories
• Ceremony costs
• Reception costs (all food, drink, music, & decor)
• Flowers: Ceremony flowers, bridesmaid & flower girl bouquets/corsages
• Wedding invitations, announcements, programs
• Wedding favors
• Wedding photographer
• Wedding entertainment
• Bridal party transportation to & from ceremony & reception
• Bride's family hotel accommodations

The Groom and his family

• Bride's engagement & wedding ring
• Bride's wedding gift
• Groomsmen gifts
• Marriage license
• Officiant's fee
• Groom's attire
• Flowers: Bride's bouquet, corsages for mothers & grandmothers, boutonnieres for men
• Rehearsal dinner
• Groom's family hotel accommodations
• Honeymoon

This will help serve as a basic guideline to go by. However, it is best to sit down with both families and go over what is best for each unique situation.

Wedding Etiquette Tip #1 - How to Ask for Money for Your Wedding

So, you've got all your households and heirlooms taken care of, and you are overrun with knick knacks. No worries! First, you should NEVER put anything on your invitations relating to gifts for your wedding. The invitation serves as just that, an invite to your special occasion. Mentioning type of gifts to give or even where you are registered implies the guest must purchase a gift for you. However, there are ways to get the word out that you prefer money over gifts. First, tell your bridal party and parents. This way, when asked, they are able to get the word out for you. Guests tend to go to the bride and groom’s parents and close friends for gift giving ideas.

Also, make sure to add this information to your online wedding website. A wedding website helps to spread the news of your engagement, as well as provide your guests with all of your wedding details you want to make sure they know about. For example, where you are registered and/or in this case, preferred wedding gifts. To make sure your guests are aware of your wedding website, you can add a statement on your invitation to "go to www.Amy&Johnswedding.com for more wedding details.”

For help creating a free wedding website, go to one of the following:

www.theknot.com

www.projectwedding.com

www.ewedding.com